Love In Alaska (The Love In 50 States Series Book 2) Page 8

I leaned my head on his shoulder. “We're a disaster.”

  “Pretty much.”

  We sat there for a few minutes, both of us lost in thought. His shoulder felt warm and I nestled against him. His arm automatically looped around me and I bit back a sigh. We just...fit. His hand went to my hair and his fingers caught in the tangles.

  I straightened. “I need a shower.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Shower with me.”

  The invitation hung between us. His brow furrowed. “I'm not sure I could handle that. I'm going to want you to stay. It's gonna hurt even more.”

  “So stay the night,” I said recklessly. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. “I want you to.”

  He shook his head. “I can't. I have to take off early in the morning and I need to get back to my place to get a bunch of stuff. So I can't.”

  “Can't or won't?” I asked, stung by his answer.

  “Can't,” he said. “Because, trust me, I want to. More than you know.” He gestured toward the bathroom. “Go shower. I'll wait. Maybe you can come out and seduce me and I'll fall like a house of cards.”

  “You seem very resolved right now,” I said.

  “Yeah, well, you in a towel would be a pretty formidable opponent,” he countered.

  “Then just come in with me.”

  He shook his head. “No. I'd keep you there forever. Lock the door and not let you go.”

  “Maybe I'd be okay with that,” I said. “Maybe you could convince me that I'm being a total fool.”

  He smiled and pointed at the bathroom. “Go shower. I'm going to take my boots off and lie back on this bed and wait for you to come out and convince me I'm an idiot.” He smiled. “Not that I need much convincing.”

  I leaned down and kissed him, his beard tickling my cheek.

  “I'll be fast,” I whispered.

  “Take your time,” he said. “I'll be here. I can stick around for a little while before I need to go.”

  I kissed him again. I was disappointed, but I understood. He was being smarter about it than I was. It was stupid to ask him to stay, pointless to prolong the goodbye. But I couldn't help it. I wasn't ready to see him walk out of my life, even if it was inevitable.

  “Hey,” I said, grabbing a change of clothes from the suitcase I'd left at the hotel.

  “What?”

  “When I get out,” I said. “Before I seduce you. I want the answers to those questions. Because I want to know.”

  He laughed and shook his head.

  “I'm serious,” I said.

  “I know you are,” he said. He nodded. “Okay. Deal. Answers when you get out.”

  FOURTEEN

  The hot water pelted my shoulders and I rolled them forward, my palms against the wall, letting the water massage my muscles and skin. I'd scrubbed my hair and body and while I'd sort of liked camping, it felt good to be clean again.

  I shut off the water and stepped out onto the bath mat, wrapping the fluffy white towel around my wet body. I grabbed another towel and dried my hair with it. Then I took that towel and wiped at the mirror, trying to clear the steam.

  I'd gone back and forth in the shower, thinking about what Evan said, my resolve fading. I could stay another month, I'd tried telling myself. There was nothing that said I had to move on to Arizona in a couple days. I could change my itinerary. Yeah, I'd still have to leave, but maybe he was right. Maybe I'd know everything I needed to by the end of the month. Maybe I didn't need to stick with Paige's ridiculous plan to find myself. Maybe I'd found the real me right here in the Alaskan wilderness.

  I ran my fingers through my hair and readjusted the towel around my middle. I thought about putting on my underwear then decided against it.

  I opened the door and a cloud of steam poured out of the bathroom. “Okay. I'm warning you right now. I've got a towel on and nothing else. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

  He didn't say anything.

  “Okay,” I said walking out. “I warned—”

  The room was empty.

  I stood there for a moment. I looked behind me. I walked over to the other bed.

  He wasn't there.

  My stomach sank. I sat down on the edge of the bed, fighting back tears.

  I couldn't believe he'd left.

  Then I saw the piece of paper on top of my bag. It was a single piece of hotel stationary, a perfect white square.

  I reached out my hand and picked it up.

  And smiled.

  His printing was small, neat. He'd used the hotel pen.

  Jess,

  I grew up in San Jose. Amanda and I lived in Manhattan Beach, just south of LA. I went to law school at USC. And I couldn't stand the thought of saying goodbye to you. So I'm chickening out. I hope I see you again, but I also hope you find what you need. Call me or email me or come find me. I'll be thinking about you and taking a sledgehammer to my walls. I promise.

  E.

  He'd scrawled an email address and phone number below his words. Then another phone number and Florida address with an arrow pointing to it.

  This is my sister. If you need anything when you get to Florida.

  I read the note again and then folded it in half. I clutched it tightly in my hand. I laid down on the bed, curling my knees, holding the sheet of stationary close to my chest. He'd chiseled away at his walls by leaving me the note. And I wanted more.

  A tear slid down my cheek. I hadn't counted on meeting Evan and I hadn't counted on falling for him.

  I stayed still, listening for the sound of footsteps, for a knock on my door, for my cell phone to ring.

  But the only sound was silence.

  THE END

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